Monday, April 13, 2009

Keeping Up with the Cases: Saving the world one grammar faux pas (and one hot dog) at a time.


In case you've ever wondered (in all your free time) about the inner workings of my twisted mind, I now present to you a very real conundrum that presented itself to me today. I mulled over it for the better part of 15 minutes before accepting that I may never know the answer. Please understand that I have, in fact, tackled this issue in the past. Once my mind latches on to something, it hangs on for dear life until it is resolved. Alas, I fear this problem may never reach a resolution.

Consider the phrase: "I don't trust him any further than I can throw him."

(Note: I started deliberating over this because I made this comment about a less-than-attentive driver on the roads today. Baylor, my fellow passenger, just looked at me in wonder, no doubt worried about his mother speaking to herself out loud.)

First, in case you don't see the problem, you may need a quick lesson in "further" versus "farther." These words are commonly used incorrectly, and it is one grammatical quirk with which my husband especially takes issue.

"Farther" is used when there is an actual, physical, measurable distance at stake. (I was taught that you should be able to replace the phrase "more miles" for "farther." If that makes sense, than you've used it correctly.)

Example 1: "Jack can run farther than Baylor when their mother is trying to discipline them."
Example 2: "I'm hungry for hot dogs. Is Jaenicke's or Boz's farther from our house?" (I love Jaenicke's. Steve loves Boz's. We are a house divided.)

"Further" is used to describe a metaphorical distance. You can replace "additional" (or "additionally") for "further."

Example 1: "Further deliberation is necessary before I decide whether I want to eat Jack's Easter candy or Baylor's." (Sorry for the passive voice.)
Example 2: "Stephen hopes that diaper prices will drop further."

Do you see the difference? Now, let's revisit the original sentence:

"I don't trust him any further than I can throw him."

Now do you see the problem? Is it "further" or "farther"? Are we referring to the metaphorical measurement of trust, or the actual distance you could throw him? Which one is it? Which is correct?

I'm sure you understand my dilemma. And I'm sure you sympathize--nay, empathize.

Yeah, right.

So, if you're bored, then please leave, just leave, and don't breathe a word of this to anyone. Tell no one you saw this. And for heaven's sake, if you share my passion for correct usage, then please, share your opinion. Do you have any insights? Any words of comfort? Any particular grammar gaffes that get your goat?

Like abusive alliteration, perhaps?

Also, please don't leave a snarky comment pointing out some grammar foible I have committed. I don't claim to be perfect, just perhaps more grammatically attuned than most people. And yes, starting so many sentences with "and," "because," and "but" is definitely on purpose. As are the sentence fragments. (See?)

Also also, do you favor Jaenicke's or Boz's? Do you even know what they are? Which hot dog style do you prefer: Chicago (Boz's) or crazy-relish-and-everything-else (Jaenicke's)?

I can see the subtitle to my blog now: "Saving the world one grammar faux pas (and one hot dog) at a time."

13 comments:

Rebekah said...

From one English nerd to another: It's definitely "farther." I think the idea is that you can't throw a person very far (literally/physically/measurably), and your trust of that person is equal to said distance--ie. very limited.

Now you can sleep tonight. Don't you feel better? =)

Bean said...

I think the phrase you chose to pick apart today should use 'farther' and not 'further'. When I first read your post and that phrase, in my head I said 'that should be farther.'
Also, Jaenicke's for hot dogs all the way!!! Boz for mozarella beef sandwiches! yum

seussgirl said...

My grammar pet peeve is the apostrophe misuse; most specifically "its" vs "it's," especially when seen in media like billboards!

And I've never heard of your hot dog choices. Since I can't eat hot dogs for another 6 months, I refuse to ponder it further (!!), because then I'll be hungry for one. :)

Christine said...

My heart desperately wants to agree with you. Rebekah, your explanation makes sense--until my brain starts shouting "But you can't trust FARTHER! Even though you can throw him farther, you can't trust him a measurable distance. The sentence is flawed at its very core."

Maybe I'm just ridiculous, no?

Mighty M said...

Pretty sure it's farther, but I just learned something so thanks. Now how about a lesson on bring and take?

4cunninghams said...

I think I always say farther for that phrase. That was the first thing that popped into my head. One of my biggest pet peeves is seeing their/there/they're misused. And (notice I began a sentence with and-I do it a lot) seeing people write alot or allot rather than a (insert space) lot. UGH! Maybe it's because my 8th grade English teacher took us to another class and wrote "a" on the board, and then took us back to our class to write "lot" on his board...too bad we figured it out and beat him to it!

I've never been to Boz's but I love Jaenicke's. I don't eat hotdogs though. I love their sauce buns and chili cheese fries!

emily said...

The correct answer to your dilemma can indeed only be determined by your meaning. As author, you should decide: Do you mean a literal distance or a figurative distance? Then, and only then, can you settle your dispute. Or, you can leave it up to the reader's interpretation, which still leaves either choice as the correct choice.

(How's that for an editor's perspective? Sometimes I love my job; sometimes I don't. Sing the Almond Joy/Mounds jingle with that one, if you choose.)

Should you decide to get grammatically frisky, try solving the lay/lie crisis found all-too-frequently across the country.

Gallo Pinto2 said...

Hmm...I tend to agree with what Rebekah said...but I also can see how it is not "literal" since it is just a figure of speech. Oh boy...I can see how this had you stumped!

As far as hot dogs...they're on my list of food to avoid at all costs :) (By the way, I hate it when people misuse they're, their, and there as well!)

Carmen said...

I'd have to say it's farther. This made me laugh because I too am part of the grammar police as well as the spelling police!!! :D I seriously get so irritated when I read something on craigslist with a spelling error! Someone spelled drawers as droors the other day.

And I am with Gallo...I do NOT eat hot dogs. EVER! ;)

Christine said...

Man, y'all are just hot dog haters. Too bad. Jaenicke's is the first place I'm heading once Lent is over. I'm also ordering a root beer float and onion rings. JUST TO MAKE THE INDIGESTION COMPLETE.

The Tank said...

I prefer to avoid the question all together.

"I don't trust him."

And Jaenicke's, definitely. I'm all for a post-Lent gorge.

Susan said...

"I trust him about as far as I can throw him."

But, when it comes down to it--and this comes from one grammarphile to another--I think *either* is acceptable, since *neither* is entirely correct. I believe that it comes down to preference, and I prefer to the sound of "I don't trust him any further than I can throw him."

But, personally, I would avoid such ambiguities. No good comes of them.

W.Michael said...

This is a perfect example of why I avoid such silly sayings, regardless of their grammatical validity!

Here are others I "can't stand" to hear:

proof of the pudding
As pleased as Punch
Worth one's salt
Turn a blind eye
Speak of the devil

Finally, my personal favorite... Curiosity killed the cat. Where did that one come from?!